![]() ![]() It feels like I'm literally killing myself considering the lack of sleep, the stress, the not eating well or drinking enough and the only thing I know that helps is to avoid doing absolutely anything I enjoy doing which also isn't living and I'm not really willing to go back to doing that. ![]() So, sure, after a week I'll know more than someone else but that's because I spent 5-17 hours a day on it whereas they probably spent a reasonable one to two hours a day. I can learn something I'm interested in "faster" than most people, but it is because I will, with no control over myself, spend every moment I can on it at the expense over everything else. I feel like I lose so much time every single day because of it.Īnd the hardest part too is I have no idea how to address it because whenever I try to stop, it makes it worse because then I feel that "crunch for time/doing something right before it is due" feeling and perseverate even harder. I waste time at work and have sometimes worked long past when I was getting paid because of it even though I don't really like my job. I don't get the tasks I need to get done. I'll be hungry and not eat anything all day because of it. I'll be thirsty and not drink any water even though the water is right in front of me because of it. I'll have to pee and won't for hours because of it. My cat will meow and want attention, and I'll tell her one moment and mean it, but hours and hours pass. I will even be aware of it and want to stop and can't. I don't sleep enough largely because I rarely can get to bed when I should because of perseverating. It's one of the things about ny ADHD that impairs me the most. ![]()
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